I'm a Christian, a designer, and a gadget fan who lives in Cheltenham, UK.

This is my blog, a creative outlet to mess around and play with as well as a place that logs my thoughts and inspirations.

An acknowledgement

I’ve had this blog in one form or anoth­er since I was 21, earli­er posts have been lost in the many trans­itions it has made but it’s always been there. A hobby that taught me how to design and build web­sites that has since become my career.

At the moment I think I am in one of the longest streaks of not post­ing to the site that I’ve ever been on. For the last few weeks I’ve wanted to start post­ing again, I’m seek­ing to revive a hobby that was once very enjoy­able to me. The trouble is I don’t know where to start or what to write. So, I’m writ­ing this post as an acknow­ledge­ment of some very dif­fi­cult events.

The last two years have been two of the hard­est of my life. This time two years ago I was work­ing part-time in a spe­ci­al­ity cof­fee shop, doing some freel­ance design work, and con­tract­ing in to a loc­al stu­dio. There was a prom­ise that my con­tract pos­i­tion would become full time in the next six months. At the begin­ning of April last year, a con­ver­sa­tion that I thought would be about going full time was a con­ver­sa­tion about the stu­dio chan­ging their mind. A month later I was no longer work­ing there. A month after that the final cli­ent for my freel­ance busi­ness, which I was wind­ing down due to the afore­men­tioned prom­ise, under­stand­ably told me they had made oth­er arrange­ments for their website.

Along­side the work situ­ation I was deal­ing with some things in my per­son­al life. The cul­min­a­tion of all these events, along­side an unsuc­cess­ful gruelling sev­en week inter­view pro­cess, res­ul­ted in a men­tal break­down and the return of my depres­sion in August last year.

One pos­it­ive is that some­how, in the middle of that break­down I man­aged to think clearly enough for an hour-long inter­view that res­ul­ted in the job I have now been in for over a year. I can only thank God for that.

Then 2020 happened. A glob­al pan­dem­ic has thrown the world into chaos as Cov­id-19 has swept across the world. Nor­mal life has been taken away which for every­one has been a dif­fi­cult adjust­ment. In the midst of this my Mum has been under­go­ing treat­ment for can­cer and my Dad has had and recovered from a stroke.

I’m hop­ing that by writ­ing this post it will help to remove the block I have been strug­gling with when it comes to post­ing to this site. Through coun­selling I have come to real­ise the import­ance of tak­ing care of your­self prop­erly. I have real­ised that I need hob­bies in my life and I would like to start blog­ging here again as a first tent­at­ive step to build­ing some healthy habits. I didn’t feel I could get that going again without acknow­ledging recent events, so here I am tak­ing a scary step and dar­ing to put into words some of the hard­est exper­i­ences I have had to go through.

2 responses

  1. @philbowell Phil, I have to say I empath­ise with you and what you are going through. It isn’t easy to write about and I know people will say it’s brave even when it does­n’t feel like it. But it is. And I’m sorry to hear about your par­ents as well. I wish you all the best and look for­ward to read­ing more posts! Thank you for shar­ing your own corner of the human experience.

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